standing at the back in my sissy robe

July 22, 2009


It’s disconnected Wednesday! Recent thoughts / happenings that are not quite significant enough to merit to posts of their own.

As idle as a painted ship, Upon a painted ocean.

I want a meta-game title.

Champion of the Frozen Wastes can go take a running jump.

I want: Tamarind the Guild Killer.

For, lo, I am. Another one bites the dust. Gah! I know it’s not actually me – I’m not that hubristic – but I’m starting to think I must have inadvertently shot an albatross somewhere along the line In some ways, I suppose, the collapse of my guild is quite fortunate because it has saved me from the social awkwardness of gquitting. But my (ex)guild had been around on Emerald Dream for a good while actually and, clearly, once upon a time, it was a great place to be. Yet within literally moments of me joining, there was an eruption of drama and fail that led to, well, more drama and fail. And then the centre could not hold. And that was the end of it. Sigh.

My leaves may be provocative, but that doesn’t mean I’m asking for it

I was heal-harassed repeatedly in Hellfire Peninsula last night. I was already committed to 3-manning BF with M’Pocket Tank and Cowfriend (downed, by the way, downed!) but almost the second after I put hoof in Thallmar, a level 60 deathcow came running up to me and said: “Blood Funuce????” (Blood Funuce, putting the fun back into prisons for pit lords!) Possibly it’s just my anti-DK impulses kicking in again but I think anybody who, in cold blood, deploys more than an absolute maximum of three question marks (or any elements of punctuation for that matter) is probably not to be trusted. Also, and I admit I make plenty of typos myself, but I do consider being able to spell the name of the instance you’re trying to run advantageous. His next collection incoherent syllables expressed, to my mind, disappointment and he trudged off.

I thought that would be the end of it but then I got the whisper, the one familiar to every jobbing healer. “U heal?” it goes. Yes, I heal, weddings, funerals and Bar Mitzvahs, and why can’t anybody ever ask me nicely? Just a couple more syllables. Go on. Say “are you a healer?” Push the boat out, say “excuse me, are you a healer?” Acknowledge that, perhaps, I have an existence of my own outside my in-game function of healing you on demand. Go on. I dare you. Seriously, is it really too much to ask? It improves my heals. I’m a civility-powered healer. No. Really. Look, I can prove it with science:

Here comes the science....

Here comes the science....

Anyway. “I do,” I responded, “but I’m afraid I’m already committed to a group.” There was brief pause.

“Fuck,” he said.

And then again: “Fuck.”

And finally: “Fuck.”

I have to admit, I was genuinely startled. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the swearing; I read Restoration poetry, and WoW has nothing on that. And it wasn’t even directed abuse of the usual sort. Despite the fact he is wearing (though no choice of his own) a skin-tight purple shirt tunic, split to the navel, and a skirt … sorry … “war kilt” nobody has yet dared to call my cow a fag. At least not to his face. And I suppose U Heal Bob was just expressing his frustration at the scarcity of healers currently available but the three angry fucks (I can’t decide if that’s an excellent name for a band for a comedy trio) struck me as weirdly disproportionate to the situation. “Fuck,” you might say when you lose your keys, or stub your toe. “Fuck fuck fuck” you say when you run over your neighbour’s cat in a juggernaut, or forget to phone your mother. And, regardless, it’s something you mutter to yourself rather than express directly to another person, especially not the person involved in the disaster, especially not if that person is your mother.

You certainly don’t whisper it to me. Right? I mean, what could I do? “Ah, your ability to deploy the word fuck three times in a row has moved my heart of stone. I will abandon this group and fly immediately to your side.”

It’s kind of the equivalent of going up to somebody in a bar and asking if they’d let you buy them a drink. If they say “no, sorry” you respond with a smile and some generic reassurance that you’re not Jack the Ripper: “maybe some other time then,” or “enjoy your evening.” You don’t burst into tears and punch the wall.

Was that the end of it? The fact I’m still writing about it indicates not.

About five minutes later, he whispered me again: “So, you gonna heal, y or n?”

Now, my druid is a very nice cow. His hobbies are saving gazelles and eating picnics. He looks like he doesn’t have a bad word to say about anybody and, consequently, when I’m playing him, I’m a much kinder player. However, at that moment I channelled Tam, pure and simple:

“What part of ‘no sorry, I’m committed to another a group at the moment’ suggested to you the answer to that question might be yes?”

“Fuck,” he said, but at least only once this time.

“Same to you,” I offered, /ignoring.

But it kept happening. Different people, less fuck-happy folks, but every ten minutes or so: “U healer?” “Wanna heal [whatever]” and a constant stream of invites to groups without so much as a by your leave. Obviously I get occasional whispers for healz and when WotLK came out being the only healer in the village was a bit painful but nothing on this scale of epic and perpetual stupidity.

And, no, I wasn’t randomly on LFG. I checked.

Maybe it was National Harass Tam’s Alt Night.

But it made me really bloody grumpy.



  1. This is the sole reason I gave up being a healer.

    I swear i’ve reached the limit on the /ignore list by now. It also amazes me there are thousands of people that dont understand “no” and often mistake it for “yes” or “soon”.

    On a more positive note, I was wandering around last night on my horde rogue, and got a “Come Heal UK”. I thought nothing of it, clearly a mistake on their part, I am a rogue after all.

    This was repeated three more times in succession, when I gave in and responded with “I’m a rogue, but will heal you if you want, with my trusty bandages of fail”.

    To my surprise I got a Group invite, and accepted a summon invite.

    The other players in the group consisted of a Shadow priest, two warriors, and a deathknight.

    A friendly bunch, and we went in.

    Oh the lol’s, I thoguht it was a joke, but they actually wanted me to heal.

    After a short while later, and a big over agro, we wipe, and I get kicked from the group with a comment “F**king w**k healer”.

    It almost made my day.

    Comment by Joe — July 22, 2009 @ 11:53 am | Reply

    • Oh. My. Lawd.
      Thank you, good person, for making my day. Here I was going to gently pat this poor author on the shoulder and just acknowledge the idiots Azeroth hosts. But now, I’m just going to sit here and smile. Because those idiots just made my day. Ty 😀

      Comment by Naïve — July 22, 2009 @ 12:05 pm | Reply

      • Yep, yep, I can’t tell if it’s a positive sign or an indication I should give up that the comments on my blog are generally better than the blog entries 😉

        Comment by Tamarind — July 22, 2009 @ 1:21 pm

    • Best. Story. Ever.

      WoW, of course, has no victory conditions I think you just won WoW.

      And the day when random players start harrassing my non-healing characters for healz is the day I’ll know I’ve won.

      Comment by Tamarind — July 22, 2009 @ 1:20 pm | Reply

      • I sometimes do wonder about the sanity of those playing around me 😦 Still you are not allowed to give up on your blog, I enjoy your wit far to much!! I bow in your glorious… err… wit.

        Comment by Joe — July 22, 2009 @ 1:26 pm

      • Awww, I wasn’t fishing for compliments, although thank you for them anyway 🙂 I enjoy writing the blog, and reading the comments, far too much to give it up.

        Comment by Tamarind — July 22, 2009 @ 4:11 pm

    • Wow…that’s hilarious.

      Comment by Misneach — July 22, 2009 @ 3:12 pm | Reply

  2. As the wife of a scientist (who also happens to be my pally), I am easily swayed and impressed by Important Scientific Graphs. This is no less true here. (Although the addition of the “pls” on the end of “Heals” almost makes it seem like the requester is being polite, which I have rarely encountered in random heals-whispers.)

    This is the trouble with leveling healers – everyone wants you to help them. I found hunkering down with my own group and, more importantly, entering the instance asap tended to stop the requests. After all, if you’re hanging out inside Blood Furnace, it’s a lot more difficult for them to assume you are actually free to heal Blood Furnace.

    However, there really is no avoiding a certain amount of hellish pestering when on your helpful, civil clothy. It’s too bad there’s no Macro that can pop up your Heal Quality-to-Niceness graph on their screen when they say “Heal X?”

    And as for the guy who whispered “Fuck” a lot? You must be made of stone if his multiple swears didn’t make you instantly want to abandon your friends and go help him…

    Comment by wildgrowth — July 22, 2009 @ 12:30 pm | Reply

    • The financial analyst in me is also ridiculously pleased at the graph. More graphs!

      Comment by wildgrowth — July 22, 2009 @ 3:40 pm | Reply

      • I will endeavour to provide. But I must until graphspiration strikes 🙂

        Comment by Tamarind — July 22, 2009 @ 4:26 pm

    • I find “heal plz” to be the psychological equivalent of “soz lol” in that neither the plz nor the soz make up for the fact that you wouldn’t be saying either IF YOU HADN’T FUCKED UP. Soz lol always turns me into some irate parent, standing there with my hands on my hips going “Well if you really sorry about it you’d bother to type the extra two letters, wouldn’t you, eh, eh?”

      The thing about being a healer is that there’s either nothing but healers around on-line so that you can’t get into a group for love nor money OR there’s not a single one except you. It’s like being the child of neglectful parents. You’re either smother-loved or disregarded.

      I feel the graph has done wonders for my authority, both as a human being, and a WoW blogger. I’m practically a scientist. Soon people will be sending their friends over, saying “Check out Tamarind for Yogg tactics. He may not be able to tell his raiding arse from his raiding elbow but he *has a graph*”.

      And you’re so right about Sir Fuckalot. I really don’t know how I hardened my heart against his emotive appeals. I must be made of concentrated mean from ears to toes.

      Comment by Tamarind — July 22, 2009 @ 4:25 pm | Reply

      • I’ve never understood how “soz” is supposed to mean “sorry”. SOZ? Really? The hell did the Z come from?

        Comment by Kiryn — July 22, 2009 @ 8:51 pm

      • I have to admit I’ve never quite got why people attempt to shorten things by adding a ‘z’ – I mean, how awkward is it to type a ‘z’, it’s stuffed way down in a corner of the keyboard. So much easy to type please than plz or sorry than soz.

        Comment by Tamarind — July 22, 2009 @ 11:17 pm

  3. I have a Paladin that I levelled as Holy, and it is my main spec, the other being Retadin (just because I have to dual spec to raid, otherwise forget it).
    Anyway, I get all sorts of whispers, mostly along the lines of:
    “U tank?”
    “Wanna heal BM (Black Morass!) we got awesome group”
    “Need tank 4 one boss Ulduar, can u come?”

    and usually followd by a group invite appearing before I have even replied.

    I simply say “No” and don’t bother to explain further.
    More persistent offenders I usually tell them I’m about to log off in 10 minutes, so no can do, or I’m not the spec they want. It works most of the time.

    Comment by *vlad* — July 22, 2009 @ 12:46 pm | Reply

    • I suspect I am over-polite and should probably bring myself to reply as you do with a curt no, or not reply at all. But I find that courtesy makes such a huge difference to me when I’m playing – so much so that I actually tend to *remember* them (that’s one hell of an indictment=P) that I try to extend it to others as much as possible.

      But, yes, I particularly hate the random group invite without even a whisper. Like you’re just going to accept with no idea about what they want and where they’re going, and without even the assurance of competence it takes to whisper someone. Gah!

      Also what is with the random persistence? As if, having said no, you’re going to change your mind if they only pester you enough. Gah again!

      But, yes, I feel your pain!

      Comment by Tamarind — July 22, 2009 @ 11:31 pm | Reply

  4. Why don’t I ever get invites to heal on my rogue alt? 😦

    Comment by Cassini — July 22, 2009 @ 1:03 pm | Reply

  5. I am also very specific about the three punctuation marks rule.
    To the point that I strongly differentiate between:

    Comment by MomentEye — July 22, 2009 @ 1:07 pm | Reply

    • Well, of course. They reflect very different emotional states.

      What!?! contains an accusatory element whereas What?!? is dominated primarily by incredulity.

      Comment by Tamarind — July 22, 2009 @ 1:23 pm | Reply

      • I wish more people thought about punctuation as much as you do, Tam ❤


        Comment by Kiryn — July 22, 2009 @ 9:01 pm

      • I sometimes think we love a little too much, don’t you? There are probably special circles of hell just for us. Actually, it’s really weird what bugs me and what doesn’t. I’m very happy to accept that language is constantly evolving so if, for example, one uses who where in the past whom might have been considered correct, I won’t give a toss.

        But the other way round? GAH! DIE!

        Comment by Tamarind — July 22, 2009 @ 11:13 pm

      • I took a linguistics class once (it was really fun, I got to write a paper about WoW-slang) that taught me to be more accepting of certain things that English teachers would always grade us down on. “To boldly go” has always been right in MY world.

        And it always amuses me when people overcompensate and use Whom when Who would have been correct, like they were reprimanded too many times as a child so they’re afraid of it now.

        But I make no exceptions for my own personal crusade: WHICH!

        Comment by Kiryn — July 22, 2009 @ 11:46 pm

  6. My Blood Elf Holy Priest would get that a lot and now Divina is starting to get them too. Yes, I’ve had some that have been so bold to ask me to ditch the group I was in and come heal theirs. My response, How would you like it if I was in your group and dumped you because someone tried to pull the same thing you’re doing now?

    I enjoy reading about your 3-man team. My group of three we’re in BRD a few hours ago, taking a short break since we all had work to complete but we’ll reconvene in a few hours to back in there soon to conquer BRD. We are all looking forward to Outlands so we can attempt to 3-man some of those instances too. I imagine we’ll hit Outlands this weekend or early next week. 😉

    Comment by deimonia — July 22, 2009 @ 1:30 pm | Reply

    • It happens a little bit with me, as it must with all healers, but I was genuinely shocked at the sheer weight of it last night. I guess I was the only healer in Outland or something. If I have more problems, I may try your technique but then since so many players seem incapable of recognising that the individual members of the group are, y’know, real people who exist for a purpose other than facilitating the game for them, I have no idea if they’re able to make the empathetic leap to conceive of other groups 😉

      I like reading about your 3-manning too – your team sounds like it’s doing really well. Ours is still a small, learning as we go team, especially since we’re all new to our roles and learning to pull together as a team. I genuinely love the fact that you can essentially compensate for the firepower of 2 other players through solid teamwork.

      Comment by Tamarind — July 22, 2009 @ 11:41 pm | Reply

  7. LFG is bugged. Sometimes when you’re not in there, it’s still showing you in there. So without knowing..well.

    But hey, there’s two sides to this coin. One is the ‘U heal?’ the other is:

    [2 trade 19:22]LF3M healers Ulduar 25, then gtg, pst

    me thinking: yawn, I promised to go do a dungeon, lets do that first

    [2 trade 19:45]LF2M healers Ulduar 25, then gtg, pst

    me thinking: well, dungeon almost done

    [2 trade 20:30]LF1M healer Ulduar 25, then gtg, pst

    me: sure, I’ll join
    respone: oh wow, glad we found you, we had been looking for a while already for the last healer!
    me: oh realy?

    It has its advantages to be a rare breed 😉

    Comment by Shy — July 22, 2009 @ 1:32 pm | Reply

    • Oh God, maybe I was stuck in LFG all that time! Eeek! Poor bastards, no wonder they were bothering me all night long – they probably thought I was a right grumpy git. On the other, I didn’t actually access LFG at all so arbitrarily assigning me to it would constitute on hell of a bug!

      But I shall try to embrace the pleasure of being in demand instead 🙂

      Comment by Tamarind — July 22, 2009 @ 11:46 pm | Reply

  8. Dear tamarind!

    Ever imagined what happend to me if you put me on everybody around you?
    How it is to be used by everybody?
    And who says “Thank you” to ME?

    Not even you.

    your heal spells

    Comment by nimayne — July 22, 2009 @ 2:01 pm | Reply

    • Dear Heal Spells,

      You’re so right. I neglect you horribly and never give you the credit for your hard work. I think it’s fair to say I literally couldn’t do what I do without you, so I shall try to do better.

      Yours, covered in shame,

      Comment by Tamarind — July 22, 2009 @ 11:47 pm | Reply

  9. It seems to me that the lower level you are, the less sensible the requests get. My personal pet peeve is on my priest twink. She is 19 and kicking ass. However, in PvP (and especially at 19) mana is an issue. It cant be spent just willy nilly around, it needs to be used wisely. Dont get me wrong, wands are great and all – but I didnt twink a priest to wand myself through Gulch.
    This seems to be a hard concept for most players have a hard time accepting. One thing is the incessant “heal me plz”,I can live with those. They mostly just filter through my vision as “oh, if only I had a healer friend, then I would suck as much – but alas life is cruel and now I will die”.

    What drives me up the wall is “buff plz”. Alone not too bad, but more often then not its repeated as “buff plz!!!!”. Though the exlamationmarks makes me see the urgency of the buff, it doesnt have the power to sway me.

    What I want to reply is “Me adding 89 health to you existing 242 wont make any kind of differance. You suck and there is nothing I can do about it. I cant think of a worse use of my mana then buffing your crap little ass”.

    Sadly I never seem to find the time to put that response in. There is after all always someone who needs a heal. Perhaps a macro would solve it.

    Comment by Kristine — July 22, 2009 @ 2:47 pm | Reply

    • Defo get a macro!!

      Comment by Joe — July 22, 2009 @ 3:08 pm | Reply

    • Yes, I agree, you should totally get a macro so you can say exactly that, over and over again, as necessary 🙂

      Also this story emphasises yet again how many players see priests, or indeed, other players, as tools for their own convenience. I mean, heaven forefend you wanted to be using your mana for, y’know, yourself when you could be using it to make them suck marginally less.

      Comment by Tamarind — July 22, 2009 @ 11:57 pm | Reply

  10. First of all, your use of a graph satisfies the financial analyst in me, and I thank you for it.

    Secondly, it sounds like you may be working on a rewrite for Misanthropy III there.

    And thirdly, I’m constantly getting asked to tank everything from Heroic HoL to Stockades. Most of the time they resort to begging.

    “Will you tank H-UP for us?”
    “Can’t right now, in a BG”
    “Please? It would really help us out a lot.”
    “Sorry, not this time.”
    “OK 😦 ”

    Almost…almost…makes me feel bad.

    Comment by Misneach — July 22, 2009 @ 3:16 pm | Reply

    • I’m delighted. Everyone’s inner financial analyst should be satisfied as much as possible.

      I don’t dare aspire to the challenge of making Misanthropy III, not after Misanthropy I and II were such huge hits. I think, if anything, this might count as a badly conceived, slightly ripped off mini-series based on the Misanthropy brand.

      At least you get begging rather than abuse. It must be the plate armour. Brings out people’s polite side 🙂

      Comment by Tamarind — July 23, 2009 @ 12:46 am | Reply

  11. I once offered to heal something on Beru (I can’t remember if it was a heroic or a 25 man sarth or Malygos, but it was something I had a lot of experience with) and got the following tell back: “whats ur spellpwer”.

    Beru: Sufficient
    Random Guy: what is it
    Beru: I assure you that I would be an asset to your group.
    Random Guy: what is it, r u gud?
    Beru: *sigh* 2500
    *random guy invites Beru*
    *Beru declines*
    *random guy invites Beru*
    *Beru decliens*
    Random Guy: ???
    Beru: I’m sorry, I do not think that I would care to assist you with this endeavor any longer.
    *random guy invites Beru*
    *Beru declines*
    Random Guy: wtf, we needz hlz, plz
    Beru: I appreciate the offer, however, I find that I must respectfully decline
    *random guy invites Beru*
    *Beru declines*
    Random Guy: wtf, u n00b, u suck neways, we dont evn need u.
    *random guy invites Beru*
    *Beru ignores Random Guy*

    True Story.

    There are few things that I hate worse than the ninja invite:

    1) Asking my stats – I can assure you that even my poor shaman who just hit 80 with her whooping 1300 spell power will still outheal a good number of other people regardless of her gear, just from the sheer experience of having healed for almost FIVE BLOODY YEARS in this game, and run every instance adnauseom.

    My golden PuG rule is everyone gets one chance with me, I could give a shit what their gear looked like. The only thing I want to know is: Tank/Heals/DPS. I’ve brought people in full blues to my Naxx PuGs, and they’ve shamed players in full epics. I’m sorry, but gear doesn’t always mean you know what you are doing.

    2) Not accepting “no”. Hey guy! NO MEANS NO! Spamming me with invites isn’t going to endear you to me. I’m not going to decide on the 5th invite that I suddenly want to go!

    3) Telling me I suck is not going to convince you that I want to come heal for you. As a matter of fact, it will do the exact opposite, as you will find yourself on my “do not heal list”.

    Comment by Beruthiel — July 22, 2009 @ 4:23 pm | Reply

    • Yikes, I wouldn’t like to get you bad side. Perhaps it’s just because I’m English but I find fierce politeness utterly devastating, and would sink into a little puddle of shame. I’ve attempted to deploy it myself but, sadly, most WoW players don’t seem to notice, as demonstrated by the above example.

      We’re definitely constructing a deadly sins of interacting with healers list here. If only it was more widely known.

      Since I haven’t attempted to negotiate 80 yet, I’ve managed to avoid Deadly Sin 1) although it drives M’Pocket Tank up the wall and makes her throw things (this is difficult when you’re up the wall). Actually, though, I’m noticing a slow-creeping gear-elitism at lower level PUGs, where it’s completely unnecessary. But a group sneered at one of my baby alts the other day for being heirloom-less. As for 2) and 3) I wish I knew what were people were thinking. “I want this person to heal for me, I known I’ll nag them and be rude to them, they won’t be able to resist!” Sigh!

      Comment by Tamarind — July 23, 2009 @ 12:25 am | Reply

  12. “And then the centre could not hold” … but did the falcon still hear the falconer?

    Another annoying thing: people asking to be rezzed when you’re in combat or out of mana. Or, if I’m in tree-form, demanding a precious battle rez when you’re a warlock who has died on trash (I told you not to stand in the spiky stuff).

    I’ve just levelled a priest to 80. You do get to see a lot of weird people.
    First experience being asked for a group (for 11 ZF): 11
    The Tank: “what spec ru?”
    Me: Disc
    The Tank: “no heal spec n00b!”
    Me: /leave group
    The Tank: “hey where ru going”

    Comment by Liadan — July 22, 2009 @ 4:25 pm | Reply

    • “And then the centre could not hold … but did the falcon still hear the falconer?”

      No, because the bloody huntard had the falcon on aggressive. Also points for spotting the silly reference 🙂

      Rez plz is another One Of Those Things isn’t it? It always turns me into the comedy nazi from Allo Allo: ze battle rez is mine! Ze choice is mine! Bwahahaha!

      Also what’s with asking? What do you think I’m going to say? “No, actually, I think I’ll make you corpse run. Just just because I can.”

      And another hilarious Fail-tale. Mind you, disc-priests are definitely a mysterious class… nobody except other disc priests is quite sure what they do… except somehow people don’t die in their vicinity 🙂

      Comment by Tamarind — July 22, 2009 @ 4:37 pm | Reply

  13. This is the curse of tanks, healers, and anyone who even remotely looks like they could tank or heal. It annoys me too. In particular, I am annoyed that a good deal of WoW players seem to think other players are there to serve them. They spit out a demand, we must jump to it, meekly and instantly. Screw that. Unless someone asks me in a full, proper sentence, they won’t even get a negative answer. After all, if you don’t have the time and manners to make a polite request instead of accosting a complete stranger with a barely intelligible demand, why should I waste an hour of my life carrying your snotty little ass through some instance?

    To paraphrase a poignant signature I once saw on the official EU forums: “If you say plz because it’s shorter than please, I’ll say no because it’s shorter than yes.”

    Comment by Feralan — July 22, 2009 @ 5:03 pm | Reply

    • I was going to post that quote myself, as it is perpetually my MSN quote these days.

      Rather than ignoring them or saying no, sometimes I’m tempted to explain to them that maybe I would have said yes if they had asked in a full sentence, amuse myself with the response, and then eventually ignore them.

      Comment by Kiryn — July 22, 2009 @ 8:59 pm | Reply

      • That’s incredibly sadistic of you, Kiryn. I love it. I’m going to try that next time and watch the carnage.

        Comment by Tamarind — July 23, 2009 @ 12:33 am

    • The inability of most WoW players to recognise other players as individuals with their own agendas drives me crazy, and I’ve bitched about it here, well, a lot 🙂 I suppose it’s partially the nature of the internet in that you constantly have to remind yourself that the other people you encounter on it do, in fact, exist but in a game like WoW, which is based to such an extensive degree on team play, you think people would be more tuned into the reality of others. Instead of interpreting them as mere tools for their use. Sigh.

      I always worry about judging players by their sentences, though, although, of course, I always am wincing and bitching with every soz and plz. It’s just as well as abject morons, there are players who, are for example, dyslexic and players who simply don’t have English as their first language. So I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. And then, inevitably, regret it =P

      Comment by Tamarind — July 23, 2009 @ 12:32 am | Reply

      • Of course there are many players for whom English is not the first language — I’m among them. But there is a big difference between someone accidentally mangling a foreign language a little, and someone who cannot even be arsed to TRY phrasing a polite, intelligible request. And I’m sure there are perfectly nice people who only use that inane “idiotspeak” because everyone does it and they want to fit in. At least those poor souls won’t spam you with “fuck” or “noob” or “fag” if you tell them no, you won’t tank/heal/boost for them. Still, unless I’m in a PUG and know what to expect (though I should’t have to — those morons shouldn’t be on a RP server to begin with since they’re never remotely IC) I have no regrets or hesitations to ignore “idiotspeakers” because normally they DO act like idiots.

        There was one time when I was doing some AH-browsing with my shelved pally banker, and I got a polite, pleasant, full-sentence whisper from someone asking if I wanted to go to Maraudon with them. I nearly fell off my chair in surprise! I had to pass since I had no time, but I made sure to answer THAT person as politely as she had asked me, wished her good luck and told her how rare and nice it was to be asked by someone with actual good manners. Wish I’d friended that person, but I forgot the name …

        Comment by Feralan — July 23, 2009 @ 10:40 am

      • Good God, you’re English is better than mine and I’m English. It’s so often the way 😉

        I’ve never tried an RP server, I rather hoped it might cut down on the noob/fag/fuck idiolect but, from your comment, it seems that this isn’t the case. Hmmm..actually, here’s a random noob(!) question, how on earth do you PUG an instance and keep a sense of character? I mean, it’s such an artificial construct, really. I could imagine a group of adventurers getting together to go explore a dungeon but doesn’t all the back-scenes negotiation destroy the atmosphere? Apologies, that’s probably a really ignorant question. But I’m genuinely curious.

        I’m exactly the same about polite requests – as soon as I’ve woken myself up and convinced they actually took place, I’m always so more willing to be helpful.

        It seems to really make a difference regardless of what direction you’re coming at it because I was so angsty about having to go round and bother total strangers in order to get the guild charter of the Dwarven Gentlemen’s Club signed but, actually, I had no trouble with it at all. Everybody I asked agreed (I was tipping, of course, but not more than average) but I think it’s because I took the trouble to whisper very politely as opposed to just randomly thrusting my guild charter in their face, which is what people seem to do to me.

        Comment by Tamarind — July 23, 2009 @ 9:17 pm

      • Sadly, the so-called “RP servers” are pretty much a joke because nobody enforces the rules. You can report someone to the GMs quoting chapter and verse of the policies which that person violated, yet nothing happens. At all. (Well, maybe they do get something silly like a 3-hour ban late at night. Hurray. That’ll teach them!) And with the sheer volume of OOCers that infest the servers after a brief intial golden age of peace, you could literally spend a whole day doing nothing but futile GM reports.

        I guess I was naive going into the game actually expecting a “proper”, protected RP environment. The cynic in me says the RP policies are nothing but a marketing ploy to attract a tiny number of additional players who are then promptly ignored.

        Since WoW really isn’t a good RP environment, most groups, raids and many quests are done OOC by many players. Gameplay and lore/common sense/immersion simpy clash too often to keep it all IC.

        Comment by Feralan — July 24, 2009 @ 9:17 am

      • Mmmm, that’s a shame. But, I suppose, in a way, inevitable. As you say, WoW, with its instances and raids, doesn’t exactly create a particularly helpful environment for staying in character.

        I have understood from other comments people have made that RP servers, even if they aren’t great for RP, do provide something of a refuge from idiolect but it sounds as if this isn’t the case either. Alas.

        Comment by Tamarind — July 24, 2009 @ 11:35 am

      • Well, instances aren’t really run in-character, just about the only difference between the servers I’ve noticed is that you’re somewhat more likely to find people who speak in full sentences, fewer character/guild names that are horrendously out of character, and *most* of the time, people won’t make fun of you for emoting or /saying things in character.

        But it mostly depends on which RP server you go to — some of them are more RP than others.

        Comment by Kiryn — July 24, 2009 @ 8:48 pm

  14. My favorite whispers are the ones that just say “heal” because it could be a question, a declaration, an exclamation or a command. It’s all so mysterious. (I guess it’s really super geeky to start deconstructing whispers, huh?)

    The requests are now so bad on my server that I find myself adding people to my friends list if I get asked politely. For the love of all that is holy (and resto), Blizz… please give us a healing hero class in the next expansion!!

    Comment by Sharon — July 22, 2009 @ 6:13 pm | Reply

    • If it’s geeky to deconstruct whispers, it’s the fun kind and I do it all the time 🙂

      A question, a declaration, an exclamation, a command or a *secret password* to who knows what! Next time somebody whispers you with “heal”, you should reply “the owl hoots twice at midnight”. And then you’ll see. *nods sagely*

      I always add polite, articulate people to my friends list. They are so few, I must collect them.

      God, no, I would hate there to be a hero healing class. I don’t think it’ll solve the healing crisis, I think it’ll just lead to a deluge of bad healers (cf. DK tanking, God save me from it!)

      Comment by Tamarind — July 23, 2009 @ 12:36 am | Reply

  15. That graph is made of win. I wish I had a way to link it to people in-game =/

    Comment by Kiryn — July 22, 2009 @ 9:03 pm | Reply

    • Thank you. The graph-making was fun. I shall apply science to my WoW problems more often. I think the people one would need to direct to the graph in game are already beyond redemption 😉

      Comment by Tamarind — July 23, 2009 @ 12:37 am | Reply

  16. “In particular, I am annoyed that a good deal of WoW players seem to think other players are there to serve them.”

    Yesterday I joined a PUG to do H UP and right before the PUG started the instance the tank whispers me: “If I like the way you heal, do you want to heal more heroics after this?”

    What the hell? Yes, it’s my pleasure to serve you in all ways possible because my self esteem is so low that I need your approval of the way I heal. Seriously, it boggles my mind.

    The truly sad part is that the guy actually knows how to tank. He did an excellent job as it turned out. But to turn the phrase on its head, he lost me at hello.

    Comment by Daniel — July 22, 2009 @ 9:35 pm | Reply

    • What’s sad is I suspect he could have phrased it a slightly different way — “Hey, if this goes well, want to do a few more?” — or waited until the end and said “Wow, you did an excellent job, fancy another run?” — and engendered a much better response.

      Comment by Astoreth — July 23, 2009 @ 12:11 am | Reply

      • Very true, Astoreth – so this way can attribute the comment to ineptitude rather than malice. I’m not sure that’s *much* of an improvement 😉

        Comment by Tamarind — July 23, 2009 @ 12:47 am

    • My God! That is one serious case of tego (tank ego). I’ve never had it be expressed quite so explicitly to me but I have had brash, self-important tanks try to adopt me like an accessory if I performed what they perceived to be good quality healing. And, you’re right, the worst part is when they can actually tank, and you think to yourself “why did you have to ruin it by being a dick” and look upon yourself and curse your fate for a bit.

      He was clearly the tanking equivalent of Gaston from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast.

      Comment by Tamarind — July 23, 2009 @ 12:41 am | Reply

  17. When I read your post to my fiance, he wanted to comment that his usual spiel when looking for a healer consists of “Hello, sorry for the interruption, but would you happen to be a healer? If so, would you be interested in healing (instance)?”

    And hence he always manages to pull a group together for pretty much anything in a matter of minutes =P

    Comment by Kiryn — July 23, 2009 @ 5:20 am | Reply

    • If anybody ever whispered me like that, I’d beg to heal their instance =P

      Comment by Tamarind — July 23, 2009 @ 9:19 pm | Reply

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