standing at the back in my sissy robe

July 19, 2009

The Gold Hills of the Barrens

Filed under: Dwarven Gentlemen's Club — Tamarind @ 5:30 pm

Time for Sunday frivolity, I think – I shall hereby allow Rosencrantz to relate the rip-roarin and thoroughly spiffin adventures of the Dwarven Gentlemen’s Club.

We rose with the sun but by the time we had fortified ourselves with breakfast, bruch, elevensies, tiffin, lunch, high tea, tea, dinner and supper like civilised chaps said sun was well on its way to settin again. Undeterred, we embarked upon our journey armed only with our boomsticks and our stiff upper lips.

Tally ho!

Tally ho!

Our destination: The Barrens, upon whose vast and trackless plains mighty beasts roam free, just waitin for a jolly good shootin. We chartered passage from Stormwind to Darkshore, weighing anchor at the village of Auberdine, and from thence south through Ashenvale, a tranquil place of tall, whisperin trees and gentle pipe music driftin on the still air.

Jolly dull, what what. Nothin like the sweet sound of gunfire to wake a place up.

As well as being home to a bunch of stuffy elven types, we were fortunate enough to encounter some gorgeous wild cats, sleek and graceful, with coats of moon-streaked marble.

So we shot β€˜em! Tally ho!

Spiffin Shooting, old girl!

Spiffin Shooting, old girl!

But the riotous success of our expedition thus far was also tinged with tragedy, when, Yorrick threw himself valiantly into the rabid maw of an oncoming bear.

Damn and blast, bally thing killed m'pig!

Damn and blast, bally thing killed m'pig!

Our next stop was the passport office between Ashenvale and The Barrens and, damn me, if the blighters wouldn’t let us through without a Horde Visa. I tried to reason with the bolshie natives manning the outpost but things rapidly turned nasty and the green-skinned fellas chased us for some distance, throwing axes at our heads. Not sportin’ at all!

Having put a sensible distance between us and the primitives, we climbed a hill in order to survey our Newfoundland and its extensive selection of eminently shootable fauna.

I claim this land for the DGC, and the Dwarven peoples, and the Alliance!

I claim this land for the DGC, and the Dwarven peoples, and the Alliance!

As the moon rose, we were graced with our first sight of the mighty Barrens kodo: a formidable creature, enwrapped in wooly fur and sporting a lengthy, protruding horn upon it proboscis (rather like a chap with whom I attended university). Rejoicing at our good fortune, we shot it until it died. Huzzah!

One for the trophy cabinet, eh old girl?

One for the trophy cabinet, eh old girl?

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12 Comments »

  1. Tally ho, indeed! Brilliant story-telling and wonderful pictures (although the latter do overlap with your side menus on my browser – maybe it’s just mine.)

    Keep up the good work, chaps – plenty of kodo left where that one came from.

    “Rejoicing at our good fortune, we shot it until it died.” Priceless. πŸ˜€

    Comment by Taz — July 19, 2009 @ 6:24 pm | Reply

    • I’ve re-sized the piccies which should help with the over-lapping isssue (I hope) – let me know if it doesn’t.

      And, err, tally ho!

      This was stupidly fun to write πŸ™‚ We’ll give Nesingwary a run for his money, what what!

      Comment by Tamarind — July 20, 2009 @ 10:46 am | Reply

      • The resizing took care of the issue on my browser. What what!

        Comment by Taz — July 20, 2009 @ 11:15 am

      • Jolly good, old bean!

        Comment by Tamarind — July 20, 2009 @ 11:21 am

  2. You named that pet yorrick for just that moment, didn’t you!

    I love this. I’m giggling madly and considering rolling a dwarf hunter….

    Comment by lantanasham — July 19, 2009 @ 6:27 pm | Reply

    • Dwarf hunters = best thing ever.

      I didn’t actually name Yorrick for the lols, although when he died I couldn’t resist. I was going to call him Guildenstern, due to popular request, but he didn’t look like a Guildenstern somehow. He looked like a Yorrick.

      Also by the time I’d gone through the angst of making sweet sweet love to him, which is damnably difficult when you have 3-trigger happy dorfs with guns in your party who are shootin’ at everything that moves, I was so stressed out that I called him the first thing that popped into my head.

      Sterlin hog, what.

      Comment by Tamarind — July 20, 2009 @ 11:23 am | Reply

  3. I am also giggling at the shot of “poor Yorrick”. πŸ˜€

    And the obvious question: Where is Horatio?

    Comment by Ecgric — July 20, 2009 @ 2:48 am | Reply

  4. Kodos do make fine trophies, don’t they? I don’t really consider them to have fur though, they just kinda have leathery skin like elephants. Of course, some of them are wooly, but that one really isn’t =)

    Comment by Kiryn — July 20, 2009 @ 6:29 am | Reply

    • We did encounter a wooly kodo out there in the Southern Barrens but it kicked our respective dwarven assi. Repeatedly. There’s something vaguely embarrassed about being killed by a kodo. I suppose it’s because they look so gentle. It’s the equivalent of being taken out by a cow.

      You’re right, though, that one is definitely the leathery-variety. But you can’t expect Rosie not to exaggerate a bit πŸ˜‰

      Comment by Tamarind — July 20, 2009 @ 11:26 am | Reply

  5. grats to this very nice trophy!

    hope it was not to hard to carry home
    *grin*

    Comment by nimayne — July 20, 2009 @ 9:15 am | Reply

    • Mmm, getting back through the Ashenvale/Barrens Passport Office is going to be the stickin point. They blighters didn’t like us much the first time we went through. No respect for a huntin expedition!

      Comment by Tamarind — July 20, 2009 @ 11:28 am | Reply


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