standing at the back in my sissy robe

July 9, 2009

why don’t you go where fashion sits

Filed under: Real Men Wear Purple,Vainglory — Tamarind @ 10:23 am

I’m not sure how long M’Pocket Tank and I can continue to play WoW without, y’know, playing WoW. At this rate of progress there’s a slim possibility we’ll ding 80 maybe in time for the next expansion.

Last night we decided to take a crack at Onxyia, partly because M’Pocket Tank was curious but mainly because I’m still carrying her goddamn head around in my back pocket and feeling guilty about it. I thought defeating her honourably would help me put her large, scornful ghost to rest. The long and the short of it (mainly the short): We Were Not Prepared. Obviously, I was on mana-conservation, healing and air guitar, M’Pocket Tank on tanking, DPS and percussion.

Phase 1, we were perfectly fine. Ish. The healz were fine, the mana was fine … except the theory was that I would contribute to our IMBA DPS with, wait for it, my wand.

Well. It’s DPS isn’t it?

And M’Pocket tank has a thingy that lets me regain mana every time I hit with it so…

Except.

Except.

Guess who rolled up to tea and crumpets with Onxyia with a fire wand?

Plan B involved me positioning myself away from the fire breath and the tail sweep and stabbing … her … in … the … toe … with … my … dagger … over … and … over … again. The poor girl must have thought she had a bothersomely ingrowing toenail.

Holy priest = melee DPS. For the win (using “win” here in its alternative sense of “lose”).

Anyway, about two and half days later, sleeping in shifts, we got her down to 64% health and phase 2 began. And basically we just couldn’t do enough damage to her between the whelps and the fire. Boo.

So the score currently stands at 1.1.

But, never fear pretty lady, we’ll be back.

In order to cheer ourselves up and because I read a totally inspired and inspiring blog post on the subject we ran Scholomance. Being Perpetually Late To The Party Guy (another name for this blog maybe), I’ve never quite got round to doing it. And this is a profound shame because, as the Harpy says (not quite in these words), it’s pure, undiluted awesomesauce. It’s like Harry Potter for perverts. What is with those uniforms.

It always strikes me as a crying shame to roll through instances – which, being mid-70s, we inevitably did. There was, however, one mortifying wipe of which We Do Not Speak. Should not have happened. I think I might try to take Team Tree back to it so we can experience Scholo semi-properly, as it truly deserved.

In order to try to make it a little bit less of a stroll-along-whistling session, we decided to revive an old game and do it in formal wear. And here we are:

So ... d'you, like, wanna go steady?

So ... d'you, like, wanna go steady?

Tam looks both dashing and uncomfortable there – I do wonder if a trip to Scholo is his peculiar idea of a date. Well, he’s a holy priest, he doesn’t get out the metaphorical office very much. I have to say, M’Pocket Tank does not seem impressed. Forgive, by the way, the crapitude of my screenshotting. It would also make a pretty decent horror movie premise, I suspect. You know, hoping to get some action from his girlfriend after the prom, Generic Fresh Faced American Highschool Student whisks His Equally Generic Hot Girlfriend off to a supposedly haunted school, only to discover that it is actually haunted. Screaming ensues. He most assuredly does not get laid.

Blacktie instances used to be one of my favourite things to do in WoW. It’s just so inherently comical. Look, here’s a gigglesome shot of Chastity wailing on Instructor Malicia with an enormous hammer.

CATFIGHT CATFIGHT CATFIGHT!

CATFIGHT CATFIGHT CATFIGHT!

I have to admit I was, at this point, circling them both going CATFIGHT CATFIGHT CATFIGHT. Ahem.

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14 Comments »

  1. I have both very painful and enjoyable memories of Scholo.

    The enjoyable being I use to run with a tank that would not STOP for mana and a frost mage that thought he could solo the entire thing, except for that one little room, so he brought us along.

    The painful part was that i had a very bad case of obsession of trying to get my helm to drop off Gandling to complete the set. I think the last total was 65 runs before it finally dropped – I did get the sweet staff though too – ehm.

    I still do have the helm in the bank and bring out the whole set for formal occasions…or just when bored, but I don’t think I will ever be able to throw that helm out.

    Comment by Raes — July 9, 2009 @ 5:10 pm | Reply

    • If a tank doesn’t stop for me while I’m taking a mana break, I have been known to sit there calmly drinking and watch him die. But then I’m horrible 🙂

      And that’s your *enjoyable* memory? 😛

      And, yes, I don’t believe you can ever throwaway the Grandling hat after that – not and retain the friendship of the people who ran Scholo 65 times with you. You’ll probably be buried in it.

      Is that that awesome Disney villain collar – that actually dropped when we ran it. I gave it to M’Pocket Tank to play dress up though because it just didn’t work with Tam’s hair (alas!)

      Comment by Tamarind — July 9, 2009 @ 10:05 pm | Reply

  2. I never got to kill Onyxia until sometime around level 70, even though I was (somewhat) actively raiding at the time she was good content. My guild alliance took one look at her while I was still at work one night, wiped horribly, and vowed to never return.

    You can imagine my glee when my new raiding guild at 70 said “Hey, why don’t we go 5-man Ony? It’ll be fun!” and I spent half the time with my UI off taking screenshots.while spamming Smite because we already had two healers. It might be fun to try her at the proper level someday though.

    My main two memories of Scholo are:
    1. How much people complained when they changed it from a 10-man to a 5-man.
    2. That one time the epic cloth robe dropped in our group of 1 Warrior, 2 Shamans, & 2 Hunters. One of the shammies ended up taking it just for lols.

    Comment by Kiryn — July 9, 2009 @ 5:54 pm | Reply

    • Haha, it’s nice to know she’s still got it 🙂 And grats on taking her down. I understand all it takes is 1 DK at 80 but it’s still a decent fight in the 70s.

      You should revisit Scholo if you’re feeling in the mood for WoW nostalgia tourism – unless you’re run it too many times of course. I’m going to go with a bunch of 60s and see if it won’t give us a run for our money 🙂

      Comment by Tamarind — July 9, 2009 @ 10:08 pm | Reply

  3. Totally hilarious. I’m just picturing you there, with your dagger, stabbing Ony’s toes.

    I never saw either of those places until after hitting 80. There’s still a ton of content I want to go back and see.

    Comment by repgrind — July 9, 2009 @ 9:15 pm | Reply

    • Hehe, thank you. Yes, it wasn’t quite my finest hour. Or rather, finest 20 minutes.

      I’m a confirmed WoW tourist – there’s so much good stuff that you simply have to miss because people seem to be so focused on getting to 80. Getting a PUG together for a late Outland instance, for example, is a nightmare. Everyone is always “lol, go to Northrend noob.” Sigh!

      Comment by Tamarind — July 9, 2009 @ 10:12 pm | Reply

  4. Love the idea of doing it in formal dress. My warlock might have to dig out her school uniform (mageweave set) for her next trip.

    Comment by Erinys — July 9, 2009 @ 11:16 pm | Reply

    • Ahaha, warlocks in school uniforms, oh my oh my.

      M’Pocket Tank was particularly struck by the Scholo look… I think she wanted to upgrade her lovely red dress.

      Comment by Tamarind — July 10, 2009 @ 11:17 am | Reply

  5. You carried her head around for how long? Didn’t it stink up your bags? Although, (I cannot remember the name of the low level quest now…) I used to hang on to this decapitated Orc head and link it in gchat as a deterrent. (It didn’t really work…)

    My memory of Scholo is being on my hunter and falling in one of the damn holes. (They told me to stay close to the wall…) I had to feign death right away and slip off all my armor without the skellys noticing.

    As for the formal attire runs… those are a blast. We’ve gone on nekkid runs of SFK, SM, and RFK. (Although we call them heroic runs, heh.) But 4 of of did get cold and eventually started playing around with holiday outfits throughout the runs. It was quite fun!

    Comment by Syrana — July 10, 2009 @ 2:34 am | Reply

    • I’m still carrying her damn head around. I don’t have the heart to stick it up on a pole in the middle of Org because I know I didn’t earn it. I really really hate being run through things. I want to *participate*.

      Hehe, the decapitated orc head sounds, err, deterring actually. I quite like the random grey flavour items you find around the place. I mailed a bottle of troll sweat to a troll friend not so long ago, asking if it was his… he was not best pleased 🙂

      Ahaha, the ridiculous things one ends up doing in instances. The idea of you falling down a hole, pretending to be dead and then very very carefully stripping off while none of the skeletons were looking is hilarious.

      Actually, a hunter friend of mine used to have his feign death button awkwardly close to his mount up button … so often we’d be on the outskirts of some village somewhere, and I’d be “let’s go” and then for no apparent reason the hunter would make a terrible gurgling noise and just keel over.

      Feigh death really amuses me – hunters are such drama queens 🙂 In fact, I’m so tempted to roll a hunter right, simply so I can macro death speeches to feign death. “It is a far far better thing that I do now than I have ever done… urgh!”

      Comment by Tamarind — July 10, 2009 @ 11:25 am | Reply

      • Actually, feign death could be quite fun (and dramatic, yes!) when I used to RP in game. xD

        Comment by Syrana — July 11, 2009 @ 1:53 am

  6. […] type you frequently play with is a very different experience. You do more silly stuff like running instances in a tuxedo, or go after otherwise boring achievements. You have someone who is, let’s face it, kind of […]

    Pingback by Pocket Friends and the Wow Experience « WoW musings — July 15, 2009 @ 7:49 pm | Reply

  7. Scholo is always a blast, i remember having to do it for the Dreadsteed quest on my warlock and the.. pains.. i went through to string a group together.

    It was epic though 😀

    and the secret lamp on the wall of the basement to open the grill a floor above to reveal the secret loot chest.. that just felt epic! even if it did only have cloth with agility inside (why would you ever put agility on cloth?! why?!)

    as for old world content, now that you can turn off experience gains it will be interesting to see if any guilds spring up of level 60s or 70s that just do old world content at the level it was supposed to be done. But i do wonder if people will bother since you could just get level 80s to blast through it all and get you the best gear with ease.

    That looked like a good catfight 😀

    Comment by uke — July 18, 2009 @ 7:33 pm | Reply

  8. […] my lady (and, no, I don’t say that to all the girls). She’s handed us our arses crispy friend the last time we tried and, truthfully, it took us another 3 attempts to perfect our technique. But we got there in the […]

    Pingback by And gentlemen in Azeroth now-a-bed, shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here, « standing at the back in my sissy robe — July 30, 2009 @ 4:12 pm | Reply


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