standing at the back in my sissy robe

July 4, 2009

wtb one intact healer

Filed under: Bitchin 'n' Moanin,UR Doing It Wrong,Vainglory — Tamarind @ 6:14 pm

I solo-ed The Ruins of Ahn’Qiraj.

Oh, yeah baby.

Well, okay, there was a DK tank along for the ride but since he was triumphantly claiming after to have solo-ed it,  I think that means I did as well.

We also had a handful of DPS with us but Ossirian the Really Rather Blue took them out pretty quickly, leaving just me and the tank.

I see this story needs a small amount of context.  I was playing the mini-game World of Dithercraft (you know the one where you shuffle yoru bank-bursting quantity of pointlessly accumulated mats between all your alts on a 30 day rotation) in Org and a frantic cry went out over general: LF healer, any level over 60 for AQ.

Five minutes later, the same frantic cry went out.

And, again, five minutes later.

So I took pity and the next thing I knew I’d been summoned to Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom, a bunch of level 80s were running around in circles, disco lights were flashing everywhere, health bars were dwindling, waves of enormous mobs were descending on us, orange text was streaming up my screen and, holy fuck, I was in a raid???

It was perhaps the bizarrest, most bewildering experience I’ve ever had in WoW.  I think there were 5 level 80s and my good self, so it wasn’t like a proper raid.  And I suspect we would have scythed through it had there been even a whisper, a whisper I say, of organisation.  The DPS were all running around like headless chickens, paying no need to LOS at all, essentially taking it in turns to die.  The tank was standing in the middle of a group of mobs who were whacking at him but he didn’t seem to have any particular inclination, y’know, to tank them. I was always pulling aggro, partially because I was healing him and partially because, as the level 70 amidst the 80s, I had an aggro radius of about a hundred and eighty thousand miles.  I’d deal with it by pelting towards the tank, desperately casting PW:S, renew, desperate prayer and fade on myself, and occasionally whatever was wailing on me would peel off and start swiping at the tank instead.  And whenever this happened, the DPS would go wild, shrieking “Is the healer intact, is the healer intact” like a platoon of Victorian matrons trying to sell their debutante daughters on the marriage mart.

When I first joined the group, I did come straight out and admit I’d never done it before and didn’t really have a clue about what I was supposed to be doing.

The advice I got was so pricelessly profound I think I’ll carry it in my heart for the rest of my days.

“just heal, lol.”

What srsly?  Heal?  ‘Cos, I was gonna try tanking this one.

So I took what I’ve learned from the blogsphere to heart and tried to put the only rule I felt able to apply into practice.

Don’t Stand In Fire.

And the reason I didn’t die horribly and repeatedly was because I was so damn mobile.

Standing at the back in my sissy robe?

Running around crazily at the back in my sissy robe, more like.

I understand there’s some funky stuff with crystals you’re meant to do with Ossirian the Really Rather Blue but I guess at level 80 it’s not really necessary.  Except he smooshed the DPS in the first five seconds and then it was down to me and the tank … sorry … the tank.  He solo-ed it, of course.

I was slightly surprised that the DPS all got instantly blatted.  As I say, nobody took the time to explain what was going to happen (did anybody know?  I’m not entirely sure) so if I was meant to be on some kind of Super Healing Miracle duty I wasn’t aware.  But ultimately when somebody goes from Being Alive to Being Dead, there’s not exactly much even the most IMBA (haha) healer can do.  I have a feeling they just expected me to heal through whatever-it-was.

I’m not sure whether that’s complacency, laziness or stupidity.

I mean, I remember standing there halfway up the steps thinking to myself “gosh he’s big and blue and he seems particularly pissed off right now … there’s a kind of light radiating from him encompassing my whole screen  … that’s probably not good … ruuuuuuuuuun awaaaaaaaaay” which, I like to think, is the kind of verbosity of thinking that saved my life.

I seem to be brushing up, explicitly or implicitly, against a “just heal through it” mentality a lot these days.  From trivial things like ignoring the proximity bombs in BF to deciding to prod Ossirian the Really Rather Blue in the toe when he’s feelin’ all Supreme.  It annoys me because it tends to put unnecessary pressure on the healer, as well as reinforcing bad habits.  The rule is not Don’t Stand In Fire Unless Your Healer Is Over Level and Over Geared.  And, ultimately, what does it cost you, not to stand like a pillock on a proximity bomb?  WoW players aren’t Wile E. Coyote standing there with a confused look on their faces while Acme AoE Affect ticks away comically.  It reminds me sadly of Northrend instances, actually, which, as I have ranted about previously, can either be healed through or not.  Big AoE splatters can either be healed through or not, and that has nothing to do with whether you’re any good at being a healer.  It just depends on how much spellpower you’re packing.

So much for bring the player not the spec.

It might as well be:

Bring the gear, not the player.

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5 Comments »

  1. “Bring the gear, not the player.” Ain’t that the truth…

    Nothing pisses me off more than seeing “LF Healer for . Must be geared, will check Armory. Don’t waste my time.”

    What I lol at is when I see the same asshat spamming the same thing for 3 hours. Do they ever get the clue?

    Comment by Ren — July 4, 2009 @ 9:03 pm | Reply

    • I think it pisses most sensible people off – when you’re reduced to yelling out out LF [whatever] over general something has gone wrong somewhere. I don’t think I can think of ever hearing of a single successful PUG story which began with someone wanking about gear and stats.

      Comment by Tamarind — July 5, 2009 @ 3:12 pm | Reply

  2. Ah, the ever lovely old-world raids. AQ20 is still comparatively forgiving, but even there are at least two bosses who regularily wipe groups. The problem with Ossirian the rather angry is his 900%(?) damage buff when engaged.

    In theory there are specific positions on the floor where the tank pulls him, debuffs the little bird-thing and moves him towards the next one before he can enrage again.

    Of course – that is a futile idea because it requires the tank to pull from a distance, then run like a headless chicken to establish aggro somewhere safely down the stairs and in between the pillars. I have yet to see the DPS who can hold still for that long.

    Still.. you actually made it. Try an AQ40 group one of these days. The twin emperors are not forgiving to people who don’t know how to. I think we only made it past once in a pickup group – which is a crying shame. After all.. there is an old god just behind them that needs to be killed. Complete with laserbeams and death and destruction and everything.

    Well that – and finding a red bug mount would give a feat of strenght. “Because it’s red”. I need to go back there 🙂

    Comment by Koch (Aszune) — July 6, 2009 @ 2:08 pm | Reply

    • I suspect it wast he 900% damage buff that smooshed the DPS then 🙂 I was reading up on WoW Wiki just, y’know, because and apparently one tactic is for the pull to be performed by, err, a naked mounted rogue??? It’s probably very sensible but the very idea of it makes me fall about giggling. No wonder Ossian The Really Rather Blue enrages!

      Since I have never raided before in my life and I’m pretty sure that didn’t count *and* I only did it because, well, because there was no reason not to, I think my chances of trying AQ40 are, err, less than slim. But I’ll certainly bear it in mind 🙂 I am always up for killing Old Gods.

      Comment by Tamarind — July 7, 2009 @ 10:22 am | Reply

  3. […] of level progression in which my healing looks visually pathetic. I remember how stunned I was, that time I accidentally went on a Raid, when I’d be casting heal spells and it would make a trivial amount of different to the health […]

    Pingback by And What Should I Do In Illyria? « standing at the back in my sissy robe — July 27, 2009 @ 3:38 pm | Reply


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