standing at the back in my sissy robe

June 27, 2009

saturday frivolity

Filed under: Altaholism,Diversions — Tamarind @ 6:59 pm

Now that I’ve come out the girlcow lovin closet (it’s a platonic closet, okay) … I’m kind of worried about my shaman.  Look at the poor thing:

girlcow

You know what it reminds me of?  I’m no expert on the species (thank God) but it reminds me of when you see a group of teenage girls walking down the street together.  For reasons known best to themselves, they’re always wearing some kind of identical teenage girl uniform.  The girls themselves run the gamut of human difference but one of them is always, basically, a blood elf (and doesn’t she know it).  And the chosen teenage girl uniform seems to have been put together specifically because it looks stunning on her.  On the rest of them, however … not so much.  Really not so much.  It’s not that the other girls aren’t pleasantly proportioned or pleasing to behold – far from it, in fact, they’re all unique and special snowflakes if only they’d give themselves a chance – but because they’re ineptly jammed into the bloodelf teenage girl uniform, all that comes across is their awkwardness about not fitting what they perceive as the appropriate pattern.

I think this has happened to my poor girlcow shaman.  That getup is clearly designed for a blood elf – the skimpy trousers, the dodgy, midriff revealing top.  She looks like either she’s squeezed herself into the wrong dress size because she’s too embarrassed to buy the size that actually fits her (or, more generously, all her clothes have all shrunk in the wash).

My poor girlcow is the victim of body fascism.

Look how dumpy she looks.  I’m genuinely worried she’s going to burst out of those trousers.  And, to think, she’s a beautiful, sleek, perfectly honed specimen of girlcowness.  She’s just not a fucking size 6 blood elf.

I’m not sure she’s going to make it to level 20.  I think she’s going to spiral into self-hatred and bulimia.

Damn you Blizzard, oppressing my girlcow.  I should never have let her read that issue of Cowsmopolitan back at Bloodhoof Village.

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7 Comments »

  1. OMG you amuse me so…

    Comment by Keredria — June 28, 2009 @ 5:10 pm | Reply

    • Hehe, thank you kindly, I’m delighted to hear it 🙂

      Comment by Tamarind — June 29, 2009 @ 10:36 am | Reply

  2. I hate lame humor. Not so much the humor itself, but the fact that I am such a loser for laughing at it. In this case, I hate you with a terrible passion of a billion suns, and one moon.

    Comment by krizzlybear — July 3, 2009 @ 8:56 pm | Reply

    • So in a way, I simply just hate myself.

      Comment by krizzlybear — July 3, 2009 @ 8:56 pm | Reply

      • I’m not sure whether to apologise or thank you =P

        If it’s any consolation I spent more minutes that any un-loser human being would spend dithering between Cowsmopolitan and Cosmoopolitan … so I have a healthy dose of self-loathing as well…

        I’m terribly susceptible to lame humour as well. As I think my blog attests. *shame*

        Comment by Tamarind — July 3, 2009 @ 9:15 pm

  3. hmmm not much to say here but ROFLMAO =)

    Comment by uke — July 4, 2009 @ 2:51 am | Reply

    • I’m delighted to have amused 🙂

      Comment by Tamarind — July 4, 2009 @ 6:28 pm | Reply


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