standing at the back in my sissy robe

May 27, 2009

hemo: emo for healers

Filed under: Hemo — Tamarind @ 8:45 pm

ZF used to be my nemesis.

It kicked our collective assi a bunch of times way back when, and this was when lots of my friends were playing WoW and I wasn’t self-harm PUGing in desperation.  It wasn’t even The Steps that did for us (which, by the way, are awesome, how could anyone not love The Steps), we were just dogged by silly trifles whenever we tried to take her down – like the Boss who didn’t drop any loot (fucker!), the time the healer (that would be yours truly) managed to get himself killed by scarabs (yes hah hah), the time the leader was explaining at great length why we should go carefully and not aggro Antu’sul until were completely ready to take him while the party rogue was skidding gleefully down a slope straight into his cave … and so on and so forth.  Our failure to take ZF, despite our otherwise competence, meant that even to this day I call her “that sandy bitch.”

Anyway.  ZF.   I have wronged you.  All is forgiven.

These days, I hate UK.

Not because of the instance itself – which is, well, I guess it’s okay and has drakes in it, but it isn’t massively inspiring if you ask me – but because I have no damn luck with it in the PUG department.

After the farrago of gah that inspired me to begin this blog in the first place, I had another unsuccessful run tonight.  And the worst of it was that it wasn’t a comedy bad run, not ye fireside tale of PUGs Gone Wrong.  It was just … utterly depressing, and even now I’m not entirely sure what went wrong with it.  As we all know, I’ve been messing around in Nagrand instead of going to Northrend (noob) so I’m slightly under-geared.  Slightly, he emphasizes defensively.  And I am just 70.  And the average of the group as a whole was probably something like 71.

The run started inauspiciously when I killed us all.

Yes, I admit it, my fault, entirely my fault, I played like a fool.  The group consisted of your humble narrator, a dk, two pallys and a mage.  So, two of us probably weren’t tanking…  I should probably have just piped up with “who’s tanking this” but I decided to be clever and effortlessly professional and work it out for myself.  So, there I was, busily inspecting the specs of the 2 pallys (one protadin, one retadin as it later turned out) when I became aware of unhappy noises emerging from my speakers.  Glancing up, I discovered we were oh shit in combat and about half of us were in a bad way.  Panicking, I hit CoH, followed by renew and flash heal on the guy I thought was tanking.  Except … wait … the other pally was the guy with the aggro.  Maybe I’d got the names or the specs confused and he was tanking.  So I started healing him instead.  There was a short, unpleasant game of pass the aggro in which I desperately tried to figure out which of them was supposed to be tanking.

And the short of it is: we all died.  And, ye Gods, did I feel crap.

While I apologized profusely, we had another go at it.  And this time I managed to perform my job except it was … really fucking difficult.  Painfully difficult.  I was burning through mana at an insane rate and even then it was actually on the very outer limit of possibility for me to keep the tank alive (I’d established who it was, this time – something I found peculiarly helpful).

The guy was seriously made of cheese.  Wet, floppy cheese.  A single hit would regularly knock him down to 50%.  What was going on?

I didn’t really have time to analyse it in the fraught few battles that followed. And by fraught I mean “fraught for me” – I don’t think anybody else even noticed anything was wrong.  If there was something wrong?

I couldn’t work out who was being crap.  Was it me?  Is it me?  I am just a crap healer?

Wah!

I was waving my arms and angsting so loudly that my Pocket Tank came over to see what all the fuss was about.  Given the pally didn’t even have Blessing of Sanctuary up, he is inclined to blame the tank.  Besides, regularly running out of your healer’s line of sight while they’re taking a mana break is just plain rude.

Somehow, I managed to stagger to Prince Keleseth.  “Are we getting the achievement” asked the DK, while I chugged back filtered water like I was trying to drown myself.  Blankness all round.  “Are we getting the achievement” raid-warned the Dk.  Or rather “achevmnt”.

Gratuitous use of a raid warning?  Straight to the 9th circle for you, my boy.

“Uh what?” I asked, eventually.

“Don’t break the ice.”

“Sure,” responded the pally.

“Uh, guys,” (me again) “I’m pretty sure that’s only for the heroic …”

But, oh look, we were in combat.  And, being made of cheese, the pally was both out of my line of sight and nearly dead.  I pulled him back from the brink only to be overwhelmed by the adds and torn to shreds.

Needless to say, losing your healer first thing in a boss fight = TPK.

Jogging back, I politely asked if there was anything we could perhaps do differently this time.

“Maybe no achievement this time, lol,” offered one of the interchangeable pallys.

“There is no achievement,” I return, with the patience of a school teacher or a saint, “it’s for the heroic only.”

Lols all round.  Great.

“So,” I try again, “different strategy perhaps?”  Not letting me die in the first seconds, maybe?  Just maybe?  Clues for everyone?

Pally: Just kill the mobs.

Me: Um, I’m the healer. It’s not really my strong point.

Someone else: Maybe one of us should gather them up and lead them to the tank?

Someone else: Or you could do your bit.

Me: I trying to do my bit but I can’t do my bit if I’m dead.

But it wasn’t worth arguing the point, and I had some pretty serious healer angst by now anyway.  After our second attempt – I managed to stay alive for about 2/3 of the fight this time but burned through my mana in half that  by having to keep basically the entire group (and myself) alive, one of whom was a fragile 69 level mage and one of whom, as we know, was wearing armor made of cheese – I decided it must be me, apologised and departed.

It was such an unsuccessful run that there must have been something going wrong somewhere.  Possibly we were all under-level and under-geared.  Possibly it was low level idiocy spread like nutella across the group as a whole.

Or maybe it was meeeeee.  Wah!

I haven’t felt quite so depressed by WoW for a while.

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