standing at the back in my sissy robe

May 25, 2009

Real Men Wear Purple

I should probably stop starting WoW Blogs because they always follow the same doomed pattern:

1)    I have an amusingly unfortunate PUG experience (which are, of course, two a copper piece in WoW)

2)    I think “Gosh, I am so profoundly annoyed by this, I must blog about it because that will make me feel in some way that experience was not an enormous waste of my time”

3)    I blog about it and feel vaguely better, as if I Have Achieved Something

4)    I make another related blog post that is not quite as good as the first one

5)    I run out of things to blog about

So here I am in making a valiant attempt to save this blog from the same tragic fate by writing a meta post about the fact I always give up on WoW blogs.

For the record, since I’m being meta and scratting around for content, the name of this blog was inspired by a catastrophoPUG.  The definitive kind, you know, the cappuvino of PUGS, the kind of the PUG you’re still talking incredulously about weeks and months after it happened … or maybe you’re taking it too personally.

I think it was Mara.  Team Us comprised a cow drood who was, of course, absolutely lovely, a hunter who later apologised and instanced with us again, my pocket tank (no healer should travel without one) and a troll shaman who, well…

Me: Could you let the tank pull, please?

Shaman: Why, what’re you gonna do about it?

Me: …

Shaman: [Stream of abuse]

And as part of the [stream of abuse], which included the fervent wish that the tank get cancer and die (yes, I know, he was 12 and probably French), the Shaman turned on me and accused me of not pulling my weight in the group because I was just “standing there at the back in my sissy robe.”

We were, of course, in the process of kicking him at this point but his hilarious accolade has remained with me ever since.  I am, as it happens, currently resplendent in ornate purple but I don’t think it makes me any less of a man, thank you so very much.

I know I whinged semi-frivolously about this in my previous post but I genuinely believe that if you aren’t used to different classes or you spend all your time in solo play you don’t realise that healing actually involves somebody doing something, and that it’s relatively important that they do so in the most efficient and effective way possible.  I’ve mentioned “hey, you hybrid class, why don’t you off-heal when the full healer takes a mana break” but sometimes I get asked to off-DPS while healing, which I really hate.   Not only is my DPS something that orcish orphans mock in the street but it’s a horribly inefficient use of my mana, to say nothing of the fact that it’s mana I could need at any moment if something goes wrong.  Of course trying to explain this in a middle of an instance is never guaranteed to make you popular and usually I’ll be typing away eloquently only to discover the tank has over-pulled and everybody is busy getting deaded.  But even assuming I do manage to get my “look I’d rather not and here’s why” response out, people tend to believe it’s just further evidence that I’m standing at the back in the my sissy robe, refusing to pull my weight.

I suppose it comes back to superstitious play but I sometimes think people assume that a healer is not a person but a kind of weird totemic device that keeps you alive if you just happen to stand in its vicinity.



  1. oh please dont stop this blog yet, reading these posts has been hilarious! I haven’t had this much entertainment since i first discovered hannelore 😛

    and i must say, that shaman may have been a little… ahum *crosses out list of expletives*, but he did give your blog a kick-ass name 😛

    Also when i get asked to dps i just pull out a wand and start firing away. It doesn’t do much for the meters, but the stream of white-coloured snot flying towards the mobs seems to satisfy the dps that this weird totemic device isnt just sitting there buffing his nails whilst the healthbars jump up as if by magic. It’s all in the psychology.

    Comment by uke — June 15, 2009 @ 4:09 pm | Reply

    • As you can see, I haven’t yet stopped and thank you so much for the encouragement. I’m terribly glad it amuses someone other than myself; it’s certainly cathartic getting all this bile off my chest 🙂

      The problem with getting out the ol’ wand in public is that it gets you onto the DPS meters in an annoying and humiliating fashion. If you’re just not there, fine, nobody comments. But if you’re right at the bottom, accountable for a mighty 0.1% of all the damage caused the lols, I find, are immense.

      “weird totemic device isnt just sitting there buffing his nails whilst the healthbars jump up as if by magic.”

      Weird you should say that because I have recently macro-ed “/me is polishing his nails”…

      Comment by Tamarind — June 15, 2009 @ 7:14 pm | Reply

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