standing at the back in my sissy robe

July 10, 2009

The one with the pointless blog admin, the bunch of cool links and the complete lack of gay night elf porn

Filed under: Diversions,Real Men Wear Purple,World Beyond My Naval — Tamarind @ 11:15 am

Pointless Admin

The worst thing about having a blog is the tendency to pick at it obsessively when you have Other Things You Should Be Doing. I restructured it about twenty five times yesterdays and then put it back exactly the way it was before. Look, I know it’s a bit generic and hard to navigate but I guess that’s that. If there were useful resources to be found here, it would be a different matter but, as it is, I hardly think readers (which I am still surprised and gratified to discover I have occasionally – eeee!) are going to be trawling through my archives going “gah, I can’t find the one where’s going on about flowers as an off-hand weapon.”

I also suddenly realised it was Made of Stupid to try and classify my favourite blogs according to, well, anything. I mean who the hell am I to tell you what the theme of your blog is. So you’re now just all in a list over there. I’m very bad, by the way, at transferring blogs from my feedreader onto this list so if I won’t shut up on your blog I’ve probably just forgotten to add you. Feel free to prod me but, regardless, I will eventually notice.

I’m also concerned that some of my frivolous WoW-prejudices (I know the word frivolous and the word prejudices should not normally be conjoined but go with me on this) are unconsciously affecting my engagement with the blogsphere. As a Hordie, obviously one tends to view the alliance with a certain amount of hostility and M’Pocket Tank and I have a on-going joke that I am racist against dorfs because I get such a kick out of killing them. At least, I think it’s a joke. Equally, I’ve had such bad PUG luck with hunters and DKs that, even though I am completely indiscriminatory when it comes to the types of blogs I read (if it’s interesting, if you write well, if you make me think or make me laugh, I’ll be there) … I read precisely 1 hunter blog and a grand total of zero DK blogs (unless Zaphind counts).

So I am making a new resolution. I shall try to read more alliance blogs. I shall try to read more hunter and DK blogs. And I shall stop being racist against dorfs in the blogsphere.

Not Today, Not Tomorrow, Not Ever!

And finally … look … I’m really sorry whoever you are, it must be really disappointing for you, but I have to break it to you: there is no gay night elf porn here. Really. I promise. It’s not under the sofa or behind the fridge. I don’t know why Google keeps telling me you there might be.

And quite frankly the idea of gay night elf porn kind of makes me cringe a little inside, but then I just don’t like the look of the male night elf model. Maybe there’s potential there I’m just not seein’…

Japheth Moonbeard drew his friend, Rem’ras down with him into the long grasses, by the corpse of the young nightsaber they’d just mercilessly slaughtered for, like, nature or whatever.

“We should get back to Conservator Ilthalaine,” murmured Rem’ras. “Look, I can see his big yellow question mark glowing from here.”

Japjeth ran his long, archer-dextrous fingers through the other’s lengthy, green sideburns, marvelling at how rough and manly they felt.

Rem’ras made a sound of mingled pleasure and frustration. He really wanted to grind to level five but it seemed like Japheth had other ideas about grinding.

“It’s all right,” said Japheth, twining his rugged purple thighs around Rem’ras, “we have to wait for the thistleboars to respawn anyway.”

Okay. I’m stopping now. I’m stopping right now. It’s safe again. Well, as safe as it ever is around here.

Friday Links

Okay, here is some cool stuff from the week:

First, nepotism ftw, here is Temi on the writing out of Ner’Zhul from the Arthas story. Shamless nepotism aside, it’s a genuinely fascinating post. Definitely worth a read if you ever think about lore and, maybe, even if you don’t. The comments are interesting too.

As part of my “don’t be a WoW racist” campaign, I’ve recently discovered Gnomeaggedon – I know, what was I doing, blogging under a stone? Anyway, it’s the closest thing I’ve come to ever thinking maybe it’d be okay to think about rolling up a gnome. I really liked this post about bagspace and hoarding, and the silly items you keep simply because they’re a pleasurable, albeit logstically nightmareish, souvenir of fun times. I’m exactly the same. My bank is full o’crap. I’m even keeping a grey adventurer’s skull that Arugal dropped in Grizzly Hills – a momento for all the times he completely whupped me in SFK.

And don’t get me started on the fucking Scepter of Celebras. That thing as been taking up valuable and necessary space since I received it. I don’t need it, I don’t particularly want it but every time I try to get rid of the game comes up with this really ominous message asking, firstly, if I’m absolutely sure I want to destroy this priceless mythic artefact and, secondly, if I am, to type DELETE into a box. This seems so utterly permanent I always wuss out and put it back in the back “just in case.” And one my vanity alts has a bank absolutely bursting with different pairs of trousers… haliscan trousers, tuxedo trousers, silver-threaded trousers, David Bowie’s Goblin King style trousers… It’s like he’s aspiring to be Hugh Laurie’s Prince Regent in Black Adder the Third. Seriously, how many stylish pairs of trousers does one elf need?

From the ridiculous to the sublime, there’s a genuinely interesting post about the way Blizzard responds to rules exploitation in WoW over at Reflections from the Pond..

One of those it’s-about-time-somebody-said-this-and-people-listened posts about the dangers of over-reliance on Wow Armory figures over at Non Squishy Heals.

And, finally, from way back at the beginning of the week, Failure in Grey at Two Nation Army. It’s a rather archetypal fail-PUG story but I just love the term “failure in grey.” I really want to adopt it, and hug it, and squeeze it and use it often and ironically.

Oh, wait, on more thing. Given all the murloc enthusiasm that’s gone one this week in my little neck of the woods, the best macro ever courtesy of I Like Bubbles.

41 Comments »

  1. For what it’s worth, if you eventually decide to self host your blog and use that version of WordPress (wordpress.org), it is much more customizable than the wordpress.com version, with thousands of nifty addons and such to help you do it.

    Also… the gay night elf porn scarred my soul. Thanks for that.

    =P

    Comment by Sylly — July 10, 2009 @ 1:16 pm | Reply

    • It’s actually tempting, but it sounds perilously close to hard work :) Besides, I suspect buying a domain is exactly the sort of motivation I’d need to get writer’s block and give up on my blog.

      Apologies for the psychological scars. I did some damage to myself as well.

      Comment by Tamarind — July 10, 2009 @ 3:04 pm | Reply

      • I just bought a website so I could do the whole “blog like the big girls” thing and yeah… its a lot of work to set it up. Especially if you don’t know how to edit the css code stuff for wordpress themes.

        Its led to a lot of flailing around and begging guildies to make my site for me.

        Also thanks for the mention! =D

        Comment by Twonationarmy — July 10, 2009 @ 6:55 pm

      • No probs re mention – entirely deserved, you failure in grey =P

        I do have highly technical and artistic friends who would probably make something gorgeous for me if I begged and wheedled enough but I’m such a frivolous person that I doubt it would it would be worth their time and effort. And I’d feel guilty as all hell for imposing on their good will.

        In case it isn’t obvious, I’m kind hopeless at this kind of stuff.

        If I’m still blogging in a year’s time then *maybe* I’ll treat myself. But until then, this sissy robe stays where it is.

        I look forward to the shiny new site :)

        Comment by Tamarind — July 10, 2009 @ 7:19 pm

  2. OMG, gay night elf porn. MY EYES!

    I’m curious now though. I wonder how many people actual google search that sort of thing? Apparently more than I thought…

    >_>

    Comment by stormshock — July 10, 2009 @ 3:39 pm | Reply

    • Well, that the fact that enough people are doing so in sufficient quantities for me to notice it on my blog stats (which I barely look at, for fear of compulsively checking them) is, in itself, disturbing.

      I’m kind of tempted to google it myself to see where I end up … except … no … that would be BAD.

      Comment by Tamarind — July 10, 2009 @ 3:54 pm | Reply

      • GAH. The compulsion.is.TEMPTING. *tries not to look at the google search bar*

        Comment by Lhian — July 10, 2009 @ 4:52 pm

      • Gah! Don’t do it … don’t do it … damn, I’ve done it. And by virtue of this entry I am now the third link. So I guess I should expect a flood gay night elf porn lovers? A flood of angry and disappointed gay night elf porn lovers.

        Oh dear.

        What have I done.

        Comment by Tamarind — July 10, 2009 @ 10:44 pm

      • I still get most of my traffic because I once wrote a post about centaur porn.
        Maybe I should just run with it. Why fight the marketplace of ideas?

        Comment by MomentEye — July 11, 2009 @ 2:45 am

      • I missed your post on centaur porn….but I am afraid, very afraid :)

        Comment by Tamarind — July 11, 2009 @ 12:25 pm

  3. Now, now, Tam.

    I know I’ve seen you over at the Pink Pigtail Inn! She’s a gnome…and alliance…and absolutely fabulous as well =)

    You know…perhaps when I get home tonight, I will take a picture of the murloc undertrousers that I was speaking of earlier. Just do you don’t feel that you missed out! =)

    @stormshock – you don’t want to know! Really! I learned the very hard way that you should not google “lego porn”. I will never forgive the friend that told me to do it! -.-

    Comment by Beruthiel — July 10, 2009 @ 4:16 pm | Reply

    • Beruthiel, I will never recover from what that last paragraph made me do (because, of course, there is no other possible response to “You should not google X” than to google X.) Things that cannot be unseen….

      Comment by Kahleena — July 10, 2009 @ 4:25 pm | Reply

      • Kahleena, I’m still fighting the Google/horror impulse. But your pain and suffering is helping to bolster my self-discipline.

        Comment by Tamarind — July 10, 2009 @ 11:02 pm

    • *cries* WHY, CRUEL WORLD?

      - stormshock (who couldn’t help herself, really)

      Comment by Lhian — July 10, 2009 @ 4:52 pm | Reply

    • Yes but as far as I’m concerned, Larisa’s general fabulousness overwhelms both the gnome and alliance factor. Silliness aside, if I really wanted to conclude something about my psychological makeup from my wowblog reading habits, it would be that I’m some kind of dodgy tree fetishist. I seem to just collect druid blogs.

      Lego porn … I am NEVER NEVER Googling that. Never.

      Never…

      Comment by Tamarind — July 10, 2009 @ 10:54 pm | Reply

      • You just googled it, didn’t you?

        My condolences.

        Comment by Kahleena — July 10, 2009 @ 11:57 pm

  4. I’m always surprised what people search for, and end up on my blog.

    Comment by theerivs — July 10, 2009 @ 4:54 pm | Reply

    • Generally I don’t pay it very much attention (usually some variation of sissy robe – although why people are googling that, I don’t know, maybe it’s some kind of fetish) but the gay night elf porn really jumped out at me.

      Comment by Tamarind — July 10, 2009 @ 10:45 pm | Reply

      • If I had to guess, I’d say that someone told them about your blog in passing, and the only thing they could remember of the name was “sissy robe”. Therefore, they found exactly what they were looking for =) I know that’s what I would do in that situation.

        Comment by Kiryn — July 12, 2009 @ 8:44 pm

  5. Maybe I’m just weird, I like hosting my own blog with blogging software that is used by apparently nobody else anywhere. Except the people on their forums, who frustratingly never complain about the precise things I’m having trouble with. Bah.

    I had a female dwarf rogue up to level 30-something before, does that count? Of course, I’m technically Horde at the moment, so…

    Maybe one of the reasons I like to restart on fresh servers so often is because I start filling up my bags with “memories” and rather than delete them, I’ll just start over and not pick them up on this new character in the first place. It’s why I stopped playing my first tauren hunter at 66. Vendor my Giantstalker Helm?? NEVER!

    Comment by Kiryn — July 10, 2009 @ 5:53 pm | Reply

    • You’re doing better than I am – at least you host your own place. There’s far too much possibility of things being complicated and going wrong for me to take that step, at least at the moment :)

      Giantstalker Helm is a fantastic name.

      “This is the helm I wear when I’m stalking giants.”

      “This is hat I wear when I’m stalking deer.”

      Comment by Tamarind — July 10, 2009 @ 11:04 pm | Reply

      • Well, mainly because it was the only helm I had ever found that looked marginally good on a tauren female. It made my eyes glow, and actually seemed to cover something! I drooled over that helm for 9 months until it actually dropped when I was there.

        I think it just bugs me that tauren females are all hunchbacks. Why can’t they just have normal heads/necks? Helmets just don’t look right with that weird hunchback neck thing going on.

        Then again, draenei female helmets seem to have the same problem. My camera angle shows off the bare neck below my helmet extremely well, as if I have a bullseye there for any rogues who just happen to be passing behind me, saying “insert dagger here.”

        Comment by Kiryn — July 12, 2009 @ 8:52 pm

  6. Now that you mention it, there are a LOT of pants in WoW. I remember the majority of quest rewards in the BE starting area were pants, which I always thought was really weird.

    Comment by Sharon — July 10, 2009 @ 6:59 pm | Reply

    • I know, it’s completely bizarre. So you’ll be wearing some horrid gloves you stripped off the body of a mana wyrm while quest givers drown in a succession of extravagant trousers.

      Comment by Tamarind — July 10, 2009 @ 10:46 pm | Reply

      • “A Succession of Extravagant Trousers” sounds like an album from an incredibly pretentious prog-rock band.

        Comment by Kahleena — July 10, 2009 @ 11:58 pm

      • I would buy that album ;)

        But the million gold piece question is, what’s the name of the band?

        Comment by Tamarind — July 11, 2009 @ 12:18 pm

  7. If I don’t count as a DK, what am I? Don’t marginalize me! :P I’m alliance too btw… a fact I am not entirely proud of, but it is what it is.

    Comment by Zaphind — July 10, 2009 @ 8:18 pm | Reply

    • Well, although you may have written in defense in DKs – which, to be fair, you do very well – the focus of your blog is general, rather than DK-specific. Apologies for the oppression :)

      Comment by Tamarind — July 10, 2009 @ 10:41 pm | Reply

  8. “David Bowie’s Goblin King style trousers…”

    You have a pair of those?! I so want!

    I often feel like a spy because I’m primarily Horde (I can’t lie, I do have a couple Alliance alts, afterall), but I find that I read a LOT of Alliance blogs. I’m glad you discovered Gnomer. Between him and Larisa, my aversion to Gnomes is substantially less.

    I’m not even going to comment on the story bit. But should you want to continue it, I think there’s a more fitting site for that ;P

    (And /gush I’ve been added!)

    Comment by Syrana — July 11, 2009 @ 12:54 am | Reply

    • The Goblin King trousers are the aurora trouser (http://www.wowhead.com/?item=4044) – a random drop from somewhere, that I wore, I think, with a swashbuckler’s shirt for maximum outrage causation :)

      I’ve been trying to embrace the alliance more recently but, hmm, it chafes a bit against my Hordie heart.

      I don’t think, on due consideration, I shall continue with story (despite, what I suspect, may be a burgeoning talent!) – writing a single paragraph was painful enough for everyone involved :)

      You’re been added for a while, I think, for you are great :)

      Comment by Tamarind — July 11, 2009 @ 12:17 pm | Reply

  9. Obsessive blog picking is a favourite (hmm, well) pastime of mine as well. And since I am really not very good at CSS and php and all those mystic mythical things I end up spending hours on things like trying to change the color of the headline or the font of the comments, only to get mad and download a new theme and start over altogheter. Blog perfection keeps eluding me, but at least it keeps me busy :-)

    The story about the manly sideburns was… interesting. I shall walk the forests of Teldrassil with a more careful step from now on and stay well clear of any tall grasses swaying, especially on calm windless days.

    Comment by Tessy — July 11, 2009 @ 9:29 am | Reply

    • Well, your blog seems to have benefited from the picking – I especially love the header of you and your trusty plainstrider against the rising moon. Not sure where it though – alas, obscure WoW geography fail :)

      Gah, those sideburns are going to haunt me, I can tell. I really don’t like the look of male nightelves. Bright green mutton chops – nope, not for me. It’s like William Gladstone turned hippie.

      Comment by Tamarind — July 11, 2009 @ 12:24 pm | Reply

  10. Alliance & Horde well we’re similar folk just choose to play for a different faction. I started playing WOW last year. I originally started out as Alliance but wanted to see the lore from the Horde perspective so created Horde toons. My first toon to hit 70 and then 80 is my Blood Elf priest. Other toons were made, since I’m an altoholic. I played my Horde toons for months before creating new Alliance toons. I like both factions so yeah you’ll see my on both sides of the fence.

    My latest toon is a Dwarf Protection Warrior. She’s level 19 at the moment. I have an 80 Affliction Warlock, and just like my Horde toons I have a host of alts too. I love Holy priests so am leveling a Alliance priest too. Horde cannot have all my priestly love, yah know!

    It’s fairly easy to host your on website, depending on what software you use. I have about 9 websites on a hosting package. :)

    Comment by Deimonia — July 11, 2009 @ 10:01 pm | Reply

    • I wasn’t serious about claiming to be anti-alliance or even anti-dwarf … I’ve been trying to generate some imaginative engagement with the other side of the fence, myself. I’m quite interested, actually, in the way WoW fosters an antagonism that might not otherwise exist. M’Pocket Tank and I were fighting quite a serious monster the other day, and a night elf helped us out. And then we stuck around to help him kill it in his turn. It was an odd experience, lots of thanking and bowing.

      I’m not sure how serious, or protracted, my blogging is likely to be so I’m not quite ready to splash out on a shiny website just yet :)

      Comment by Tamarind — July 11, 2009 @ 10:14 pm | Reply

  11. Gay Night Elf Porn; the idea frankly disturbs me.

    I have, however, been vigorously googling Elf-Porn Gay Night, as I would hate to not know and roll up in the wrong costume. Also, I have a coupon.

    Comment by Claire — July 12, 2009 @ 7:58 pm | Reply

  12. You know when you have a really bad day at work, and nothing goes right? … and then you find that some kind person has written nice things about one of your rants! Thanks Tam.

    Comment by Saunder — July 14, 2009 @ 7:40 am | Reply

    • My pleasure – and it was a great post, so entirely deserved :)

      Comment by Tamarind — July 14, 2009 @ 9:20 am | Reply

  13. O.O

    Awwww, the gay night elf porn was just about to get good and then you stopped it *sniff* *sniff* :<

    Just want you to know, if you ever decide to start writing anything of a similar nature, you better give me a link because damn it would be good :P

    hmmm…

    if i search 'gay blood elf porn' and come to your blog enough times will you write a post about that? ^.^

    Comment by uke — July 18, 2009 @ 7:43 pm | Reply

    • Gah! No, I am scarred by the sideburns. Scarred, I tell you. Although I did actually manage to create a nelf who didn’t look *awful* the other day, it took a lot of effort and, in the end, I decided it was worth it.

      Gay blood elf porn? I’m sure it’d be tremendously pretty but I can’t quite imagine them, err, getting there somehow.

      “Dear boy, you’re really quite beautiful like that, all pale and languid like a Stratholme lily,” drawled Cantugeas.
      “Why, thank you,” drawled Agrimony, accepting the praise, as he accepted all praise, as his due.
      “Not as beautiful as I am, obviously,” drawled Cantugeas, dragging his perfectly manicured nails down his lover’s shell-smooth flank. “But still rather fine.”
      Agrimony bolted upright in outrage. “How dare you!” he snapped, forgetting in the heat of the moment to drawl. “I am clearly considerably more beautiful than you are. I have better hair. And my ears are longer and more mobile.”
      “But my eyes are a more glowing green!” protested Cantugeas, also sufficiently affronted to neglect his blood-elven drawl.
      “The heaving of my chest is far more manly!
      “My abdominal muscles are more pronounced!”
      “My cheekbones are sharper!”
      “My lips are more pouting!”
      The two blood elves threw themselves at each other, hissing, spitting and shrieking abuse.
      “Watch the hair,” cried Cantugeas, as Agrimony grabbed at it in handfuls.

      And so on … I rather imagine it ends with Agrimony turning Cantugeas into a sheep and sitting there, tidying his hair, and drawling: “Now who’s the hot one.”

      Comment by Tamarind — July 20, 2009 @ 12:11 pm | Reply

  14. [...] because the females are too anorexic / prissy looking. I know the males are pretty silly looking according to some folks as well, but I actually like them. And female trolls look like they can kick ass. And I like that. [...]

    Pingback by The Beautiful People « WoW musings — July 19, 2009 @ 5:49 am | Reply


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